Nursing Aversion: The Hidden Struggle Many Parents Face (and How Magnesium Can Help)

Breastfeeding is often described as calm, nurturing, and deeply bonding. For many parents, it is. But for others, especially those nursing toddlers or during pregnancy, breastfeeding can bring on a difficult and often invisible challenge: nursing aversion.

Sometimes called Breastfeeding Aversion and Agitation (BAA), this response can feel jarring, guilt-inducing, and isolating. What makes it even harder is how little it’s understood—even though more parents experience it than we realize.

Recent research suggests that, beyond emotional factors, there may be a physiological contributor: magnesium deficiency. Understanding this connection may help parents find strategies to restore calm, resilience, and joy in their nursing journey.

What Is Nursing Aversion?

Nursing aversion is a strong, negative emotional and sensory response that arises specifically during breastfeeding. Parents describe it as:

• Sudden irritability or anger while nursing
• Feeling “touched out” or trapped
• Skin-crawling agitation during letdown or suckling
• An urgent desire to unlatch the child or stop breastfeeding abruptly

This isn’t the same as disliking breastfeeding in general. Many parents experiencing aversion are committed to nursing but are searching for ways to cope with these difficult feelings.

How Common Is It?

Because of guilt or fear of judgment, nursing aversion is often underreported. Still, peer support groups, lactation professionals, and small surveys suggest that 15–30% of breastfeeding parents may experience it at some point—especially during toddler nursing, tandem feeding, or pregnancy.

Why Does Nursing Aversion Happen?

The causes are multi-layered and often interconnected:

1. Hormonal Shifts

• Rising estrogen and progesterone in pregnancy can make breasts more sensitive.
• Lower oxytocin release in toddlers who nurse less frequently may reduce the sense of calm usually linked with feeding.
• PMDD or postpartum hormonal fluctuations can overlap with aversion episodes.

2. Nervous System Overload

Stress, sleep deprivation, and overstimulation can trigger a fight-or-flight response. When the nervous system is on edge, even nurturing sensations like suckling can feel unbearable.

3. Nutritional Deficiencies—Especially Magnesium

Magnesium plays a crucial role in regulating neurotransmitters, calming the nervous system, and supporting stress resilience. During pregnancy and lactation, magnesium needs increase significantly, and many parents don’t meet those needs—possibly contributing to aversion symptoms.

The Role of Magnesium in Emotional Balance

Magnesium supports over 300 biochemical reactions in the body, including:

• Production of serotonin and dopamine (mood regulation)
• Cortisol regulation (stress hormone balance)
• Relaxation of muscles and nerves
• Sleep quality and energy metabolism

Low magnesium levels may make the nervous system more sensitive, leading to:

• Heightened irritability or agitation
• Sensory overstimulation
• Insomnia or poor recovery
• Increased symptoms of PMDD or postpartum anxiety

This provides a physiological explanation for why some breastfeeding parents feel overwhelmed during nursing sessions.

Practical Tips for Managing Nursing Aversion

Alongside nutritional support, small daily practices can make a big difference:

1. Set Boundaries
   • Shorten nursing sessions or set time limits.
   • For toddlers, try counting to 20 or singing a short song to signal when feeding ends.
2. Use Grounding Techniques
   • Hold a fidget toy, stress ball, or ice cube during feeds.
   • Try paced breathing or mindfulness exercises to redirect focus.
3. Adjust Nursing Positions
   • Side-lying or hands-free positions can reduce the sense of being “trapped.”
   • Keeping a light cover or tank top on may help reduce overstimulation from twiddling.
4. Communicate Openly
   • Even toddlers can understand simple boundaries like “gentle hands” or “we’re done after this song.”
   • If possible, talk to your partner or support network so you don’t carry the weight alone.
5. Prioritize Rest & Recovery
   • Sleep deprivation worsens nervous system sensitivity.
   • If possible, nap when your child naps or delegate nonessential tasks.
6. Seek Community & Professional Support
   • Online support groups, lactation consultants, or mental health professionals can provide both reassurance and tools.
   • Simply knowing you’re not alone can make the experience feel less isolating.

Final Thoughts: Compassion First

Nursing aversion is not a reflection of your love for your child. It’s a sign your body and nervous system are under strain—and that you deserve care and support.

With the right tools—whether that’s magnesium supplementation, emotional boundaries, or grounding practices—many parents find relief and renewed connection in their breastfeeding journey.